By MARC WOLLIN
We are fortunate we live in a relatively safe area. For sure, from time to time there are incidents that lead to the kind of frontpage headlines you find in larger metropolitan neighborhoods. But the cops and emergency responders in our jurisdiction spend far more time dealing with disabled vehicles, household injuries and traffic problems than they do violent crime and associated issues. Not complaining, mind you. I’m happy that the closest I get to mayhem and the sound of gunshots in my neighborhood is watching “Reacher” on Amazon Prime.
Still, for all its usual banality it’s hard to resist the lure of reading the police blotter in our local paper. A staple of journalism for years, this public record of incidents and responses is kept by most departments. It represents a skeleton index of each call that comes in requesting police support, along with a summary of the action taken by the responding officer. Generally they are anonymized, giving general locale, street names and generic descriptions of people and businesses as opposed to naming names.
Of course, there are serious situations reported, even if they lack the kind of drama you get from watching “Law & Order.” You get things like the following: “5:13 p.m. — A female, 89, was taken by ambulance to Northern Westchester Hospital after complaining of fever and coughing, flu symptoms, and being unable to walk.” Or “8:36 a.m. — Three cars collided on South Bedford Road, Bedford Hills, when a fourth vehicle, who was not involved in the collision but might have caused it, was making an illegal left-hand turn.” And in perhaps the closest entry to one requiring the skills of Lt. Columbo, “3:01 p.m. — A larceny reported on Trinity Pass Road is under investigation.” Talk about a cliffhanger.
Beyond the serious entries threatening life and limb, and the notes detailing the inconvenience of fallen trees and downed wires, are some entries at which it’s hard not to grin. I’m sure that to those calling and asking for help the situation warranted reaching out. And the good news is that people are trusting enough of the police to think that they are the best voice of authority to contact if you think you have an issue. However, the bad news (at least for the police) is that people call them because they trust that they are the best voice of authority to call if you think you have an issue. And sometimes you’d be better off calling ... well ... somebody else.
This entry warranted a guy with a hammer vs. a gun: “16:10 p.m. — A caller on Old Stone Hill Road noticed a barn door open when it shouldn’t have been. Police patrolling the area said the door was rotted and in need of repair.” Or maybe a wrench. “10:20 a.m. — Police responded to a problem inside a pool house at a home in Cross River. Two to 3 feet of water had accumulated in a utility room, flooding the crawl space. The officer determined there was an issue with a pipe and advised the resident to call a plumber.” And in this instance, maybe the caller should have just checked their own logs: “6:50 a.m. — A Mill Road resident reported suspicious footprints around her home in the snow. It was confirmed she’d just received an oil delivery.”
There are also those situations that never existed when “Dragnet” was all the rage: “1:15 p.m. — A resident reported she was contacted via email to transfer a large amount of bitcoin to an address. Police advised her this was a scam.” Or what in the old days would have been resolved with a simple discussion: “5:35 p.m. — A resident of Pine Hill Drive reported a man appeared at her door saying he was there to service her refrigerator which she found suspicious because she hadn’t called for service. Turned out he had the right address but the wrong town.”
And because we live in a fairly undeveloped area, there are incidents that likely were glossed over at the academy: “1:08 a.m. — A caller reported a goose possibly struck by a snow plow in the vicinity of Church Street and Field Street. Police on arrival saw the goose resting on a snowbank. It appeared uninjured but possibly stunned. The officer left it to recover on its own.”
The cops have always had a tough job whatever the jurisdiction, and the range of skills and smarts required grows by the day. But when it’s a small town like ours, while the challenges may generally be less threatening, they can still be challenging.
This one didn’t happen in our town, but thankfully the cops used all their skills to nail down this case of mistaken identity: “3:05 p.m. — Police were called to the parking lot on Old Main Road for a report of a newborn infant in a trash can. Upon investigation It turned out to be a burrito.”
Marc Wollin of Bedford reads all of the local paper, not just his own column. His writings appear weekly via email and online on Blogspot and Substack as well as Facebook, LinkedIn and X.