Guest Column: Facing the pressures of being a teen

By SLOAN WASSERMAN

Being a teenager today is stressful. We are constantly bombarded by unrealistic expectations. We feel pressured to pour everything into our academics to get great grades and make our transcripts look the best they can be. We must differentiate ourselves from other students, but we must also be sociable and have friends.

We must be relatable and funny, or you are weird. On top of that we must fit the beauty and fitness standards that we see throughout social media. At times, it can seem like everyone is happier, smarter and better. Those are just some of the things that come to mind when I think about being a teenager in this community. 

I think anxiety and depression are the most common mental health issues amongst teenagers. The mental health crisis is not as bad as some adults make it seem, but it is very real. Just because your kid has anxiety does not mean they should be sent to a mental health facility, it simply means they have anxiety. Finding out the early signs of anxiety and depression and creating healthy ways to deal with it, and finding help when needed, is important. But sometimes, parents and adults choose to ignore these signs and only react when their child is truly suffering, things have gotten so bad, or your entire family is in a crisis mode. 

As an athlete, I put pressure on myself to do my best during every race. I know that is unrealistic, but I do. Even when I run a personal best, I wish I could have run faster. People might think that I am confident, but inside I am anxious, and it feels like everything is riding on this one race and then the next and the next after that. Anxiety makes something small seem like the whole world. As an athlete, I blame a lot of self-doubt on social media; I always see other runners being successful. But deep down I know everyone is fighting through adversity, and everyone is fighting their own battles; we just need to remind ourselves of that.  

This theory doesn’t just apply to athletes, it applies to all teenagers. Where we live is an extremely competitive atmosphere, and it feels like we are never doing enough. Everyone wants to go to the best school and be the most successful. But during all of this, teenagers are still trying to figure out who they are. 

While these challenges are very real, there are ways to cope, and make the feelings less intense. Support from parents, family, friends and teachers is going to be the most helpful. Most of the time, being acknowledged and having your feelings validated can fix a lot. Having open conversations is truly the best way to reduce the stigma around mental health. Schools in our county provide counseling and therapy but sometimes, it just isn’t enough. 

Another way, coming from a teenager myself, is having a balance between academics, athletics, social life, and self-care. In this case, every one of those things is just as important as the other, and not having a balance causes stress, anxiety and eventually burnout. Teenagers these days should be recognized not only for their academic or athletic achievements, but also for the person they are becoming and what makes them truly unique. Hobbies that do not go on transcripts but are genuinely enjoyed can help teenagers in more ways than they think. 

My last way of coping with mental health is creating meaningful relationships with peers. Having people to connect to and relate to can bring weight off your shoulders knowing you are not suffering alone. I cannot tell you how many times I have told my friends how I felt during the day, after a test, or just in general, and they have felt the same way too. Most of the time you aren’t much out of the ordinary, you are just a teenager going through a stressful time of life. 

The mental health crisis among young people is real and should be recognized by adults for what it is. Parents, schools, families and communities all need to work together to improve and provide mental health resources, encourage healthy lifestyles and create a space for teenagers to live and thrive, not just survive. 

Sloan Wasserman is a member of the Northern Westchester Hospital President’s Junior Leadership Council and a junior at John Jay High School.